Tag Archives: Church

Setting God’s Table – The Millennials Exodus

Posted on by 1

  

World Communion Table from Flickr via Wylio

© 2011 wplynn, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

(This is part of a series written by Millennials who have either left or stuck with the church.  If you are a Millennial and would like to submit your work for publication, you will earn $100.  Here is the link.  To read more stories about Millennials search Millennial Exodus.  If you would like to fund our research among emerging adults, click here.)

Here is Bethany’s story.

Confession time: I am hungry. I don’t mean for snacks; I mean spiritually, socially, meaningfully, hungry. And the church hasn’t exactly filled me up.

Not that I haven’t put in my part. I’ve attended churches across the spectrum, from the one with a steeple to the one that met in a yoga studio.

old church desertedI’ve heard great sermons and sung great music, but sermons and music are about as filling to a hungry soul as watching a cooking show is to a hungry body.

I long for community. I desire in the deepest way to know that my life means something, and that I’m not alone, and that God is real. I am a broken person in a broken world, and I want to be healed.

I have tasted these things in church, one bite at a time. There’s the pastor who invited me to lead worship and join the church council, though I was decades younger than the average member. There’s the church camp where I learned that every person–even me–is called by God to love and serve. There’s the nourishment of communion, and the people who look in my eyes every week and tell me that Christ’s body was broken for me.

Maybe I’m stubborn, but I’m refusing to give up on the church. I’m so hungry for a church that will feed my people, but these nibbles of grace are enough to keep me coming back. I’m here to set the table for God’s feast to come, where we will all be fed. I hope to see you there.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” –Matthew 5:6

Bethany HeadshotBethany Ringdal is a student at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota, where she is studying to become a Lutheran pastor. She’s a former camp director, a gardener and avid home-cook, and is being healed every day by the love of God. 

Millennials are now Parents – What does this mean for the church?

Posted on by 0

Time Magazine recently featured an article about Millennials examining how they parent.  The transition of Millennials as lazy, narcissistic children into parents is happening quickly (The words lazy and narcissistic came from a previous Time article).  According to Time, “Millennial parents number more than 22 million in the U.S., with about 9,000 babies born to them each day. This growing cohort of parents is digitally native, ethnically diverse, late-marrying, and less bound by traditional gender roles than any generation before it.”  (Source)

According to Time, “Millennial parents are attempting to run their families as mini-democracies, seeking consensus from spouses, kids and extended friend circles on even the smallest decisions. They seek wisdom from those closest to them, rather than the highly-marketed “parenting experts.”  They’re backing away from the overscheduled days of their youth, preferring a more responsive, less directorial approach to activities.”

Here is the full article.

As Millennials become parents, churches will need to respond to connect to this new generations.

Connectivity with their children.

Take my hand from Flickr via Wylio

© 2012 Stephan Hochhaus, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Through the use of technology, Millennials are used to being in constant contact with their children.   Most childcare centers use the latest technology to keep Millennials informed and connected with their children.  They don’t want a paper describing the lesson when they can have a picture of their child showing it.  Millennials are now the main clientele of the nursery, and their values should affect how we serve them.  The days of publicly humiliating them by removing them from the service, or flashing their child’s number on the screen should be over.  In order to provide Millennials with the security they desire use an app or a simple text message.

 Gender Roles as Parents

Today’s millennials do not hold traditional gender roles.  While, the percentage of stay-at-home mothers is increasing (with the recovery of the economy, almost 29 percent of women stay at home with their children), marital roles are more fluid.  Train your staff and volunteers to avoid assumptions and comments based upon traditional gender roles so as to not offend visitors or regular attenders.  [Load graph of Stay at home mothers from Pew Research.]  Avoid sermon illustrations and media pics that present one perspective of family life.

 Use, but don’t abuse Social Media

© 2012 Jason Howie, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

“Eight-four percent of Millennials are social media users, with 66% of Gen X on social networks and 44% of Baby Boomers. According to the study, more than half of the U.S. users on Twitter are Millennials.” (Source)  We should not abuse these platforms to push our own programs, but use these connections to become involved in the lives of people. The appeal of social media is snap shot of people’s lives, and not desperate pleas to come to your events.  Mind your manners on social media, or you eventually will either be ignored or deleted.  As a church, use social media in order to understand their daily lives and know their values.

While it is truly impossible to describe how Millennials as a generation will parent, research reveals that they hold different values, beliefs, and perspectives.  According to the Time article, Millennials want their children to be, “Open-minded. empathetic. questioning.”  These differences will change their expectations for church ministries and staff members.

Church leaders should begin to ask how these values will express themselves as their children enter other ministries of the church.  Our nursery workers will be the first to experience Millennials as parents, and they will lead us into this change.

Leave a comment about how Millennials having children will change the church.

David - Prof 2

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches and parents to minister to emerging adults.

Creating a Vision for Emerging Adult Ministry

Posted on by 0

A vision of a renewed Jerusalem was given by Nehemiah to rebuild the walls.  In Nehemiah 2:17-18, Nehemiah says,

group of girls

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

“You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.”

Nehemiah starts with their present condition, and moves to where they should go by providing them a vision and a reminder that God is with them.

A vision does not provide a picture of the way things are, but an image of what could and should be.  It focuses a community on where they are going and what must be done to get there.  It unifies them as they work towards the common good.

If you are seeking a vision for how to minister to emerging adults, here are a few reflections:

Visions are God-given.

group of girls2

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

True visions cannot be copied.  You do not pick them up at a conference, or by mimicking another ministry model.  Visions come while seeking the presence of God.  Due to the overwhelming church-as-business culture, the terms vision and mission statement are often misconstrued to be synonymous when they are quite different.  We have been taught all visions must be easy to read, look nice in print, and be filled with hip lingo.  However, true visions do not require confirmation by human intellect, approval by church hierarchy, and cannot be minimized by available resources.  If you want a God-given vision cancel your conference, turn off the noise, and sit in the presence of God’s Spirit.

Visions are Spirit-led.

Leaders are always searching for evidence of the Spirit’s work.  They are constantly seeking for stirrings of spiritual growth, and wondering either how they can help, or how to get out of the way.  In Henry Blackabee’s study Experiencing God, he says, “Go to where God is at work, and join Him there.”

Due to the dynamic nature of our world, visions can change.  They are not eternal, but have a shelf-life which is often dependent upon leadership.  This doesn’t mean that the vision was wrong, but that it needs to shift due to our constantly changing world.

Visions are human-powered.

While visions are given by God, we are His hands and feet in this world to accomplish the work.  I Corinthians 3:9 says, “For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”  We have the privilege of working side-by-side with others in God’s service.  Because developing and realizing your vision is so much work, it is important to enlist the help of a team.

Nehemiah couldn’t build the wall alone, and neither can you.  Look to God for a vision, seeking guidance by the Spirit, and recruit a team to work beside you.

David - Prof 2Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.  (Proverbs 29:18)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches and parents to minister to emerging adults.

This May All Go to Sh*t: An Open Letter to Millennial Church Leaders – Huffington Post

Posted on by 0

Do you know what the hell you’re doing? Because we’re coming clean and admitting that often times we don’t.

For starters, let’s agree we’re past the whole “millennials vs the church” conversation. “Millennials hate the church.” “Millennials don’t believe in institutions or organized religion.” “Millennials don’t tithe because they’re selfish!” We know the stereotypes and stats. We’re just not interested in engaging that kind of click-bait navel gazing. Continue reading →

Made for Maturity – Maslow’s Basic Human Needs and Human Development

Posted on by 0

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

When discussing basic human needs, most people are familiar with the work of Maslow and his pyramid of basic humans needs.  Maslow’s five basic human needs were:  physical, safety, social, esteem, and self-actualization.  His pyramid was built upon the premise that when one need is fulfilled a person seeks to fulfill the next one.  Maslow believed that people are motivated to achieve certain basic needs. For example, after sitting on a couch for several hours, our physiological need to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom will pull us away from any video game not matter how exciting (or mind-numbing).

Maslow Hierarchy - Up-dated

Maslow’s Hierarchy up-dated for today’s wired world.

My three developmental tasks of adulthood – discovering vocation, developing community, and establishing autonomy– are internally motivated because humans were created with desires to love, to be free, and to be needed.  These basic human needs are based upon God’s creative design.  Since each developmental tasks is rooted in a basic human need, individuals do not need to be convinced of their importance, but will naturally work towards their fulfillment.

Vocation – Humans desire to be needed.

Humans desire to have a role in their world that makes an impact upon our self and the lives of others.  Vocation provides us the ability to be useful and make a difference in this world.  While paid vocation often fulfills other human desires (like income for physiological needs and security), it also fulfills our God-given desire to work, create, and design.  God is a worker, and is glorified as we follow His ways.  Work was not a result of the fall, but the ability to work is a gift (Genesis 3:17-18).

 Autonomy – Humans desire to be free.

Regardless of your theological beliefs concerning determinism or free-will, thoughts of being controlled or unable to affect the outcome of your life can lead to depression, anxiety, or apathy.  Autonomy is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.  A sense of autonomy allows the individual to see they can make decisions that will change the outcome of their life.  Autonomy provides hope and motivation to the individual to affect our current circumstances.

Community – Humans desire to be loved.

We seek community because we desire to love and to be loved.  Our God is capable of love, and of relationships with His creation.  Veith states, “From the beginning, God put us in families, tribes, societies.  God ordained that we be in relationships.  He ordained that we need each other.”  (God at Work, 2002, 41).

When our basic needs (vocation, autonomy, and community) are unmet, we are motivated to action.  Our desires increase in intensity the longer they remain unmet.  A lack of desire to meet these needs can be rooted in a disability, an addiction (drugs, alcohol, or entertainment) or depression.

The church must seek to meet the needs of emerging adults, through offering assistance in their journey to meet the basic human needs of vocation, autonomy, and community.  I believe that church who create mentoring environments focused on these needs will draw and retain emerging adults.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that exists to help parents and churches understand the challenges of emerging adulthood.

 

 

The Power of Generational Mediators

Posted on by 0

A “mediator” serves as a conduit, or channel, between two parties in conflict, seeking to ensure that both feel understood, respected, and able to contribute towards an agreeable solution.

As a pastor, I have served as a mediator numerous times – negotiating house rules, establishing consensus over new policies in the church, or seeking healing in a relationship.

© 2010 Eric Danley, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Within the church, disagreements can erupt between different generations due to disparate values, beliefs, and practices. I have stood up in defense of Millennials amidst a boardroom of angry Baby boomers, and I have defused frustration among disillusioned Millennials in hallway conversations.

As churches seek to become more intergenerational in their programming, conflict will inevitably arise. Does your community have people who are equipped to serve as intermediaries between the generations? Mediators of generational conflict can restore peace and unity in three ways.

1.    Mediators understand.

Effective mediators are “swift to hear, slow to speak.” (James 1:19) They ask great questions and are motivated to understand another’s perspective. They want to know the “what,” but will keep digging until they also discover the “whys.” Before bringing together conflicting parties, mediators will seek to understand each group’s desires, values, and practices.

2.     Mediators translate.

During times of conflict, fear and anger can limit or completely block reasonable communication. Mediators are able to remove these obstacles and promote effective communication. By knowing those involved, they will choose words and expressions designed to calm emotions and facilitated mutual understanding between the parties. Fruitful mediation takes time, and all sides must remain patient through the process, believing the results will be worth the effort.

3.    Mediators build bridges.

In the midst of discord, we tend to focus on our differences and perceive our opposition as villains. Dehumanizing others relieves our own sense of guilt, allowing us to justify hurtful words, thoughts, and actions. Mediators remind each side of their common ground, and build bridges towards mutual respect, understanding, and love. As human beings, we can always find some common ground in personal fears, dreams, and emotions. Within the church, mediators lead us to our common ground in Jesus and His call upon our lives.

If your community seeks to become intergenerational, who has God provided as potential mediators?  Seek out and train individuals who are able to value varied perspectives, who can communicate with patience, and who know how to build bridges upon common faith and love.  Well-trained mediators are essential to maintaining a healthy, united community.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  This article first appeared on ChurchCentral.com, where David is a regular contributor.

Are Millennials Really Leaving the Church? Yes — but Mostly White Millennials

Posted on by 0

Almost everyday, it seems, there’s a new story about how “Millennials are leaving the church.” But there’s a problem with these trend pieces: They aren’t true. American Christianity still has plenty of Millennials — they’re just not necessarily in white churches. Continue reading →

You (Almost) Lost Me: Why This Young Christian Is Somehow Not Leaving Church…And Rethinking Faith

Posted on by 0

What pains me is the defensive reactions of (typically older) generations that have said: “What are we going to do about those darn millennials?” That have talked at us more than talked with us.

 

Here is a link to the author’s blog.

Continue reading →

Why Aren’t Black Millennials Leaving the Church?

Posted on by 0
Sartorialist like from Flickr via Wylio

© 2008 Raphaël Labbé, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

It is important in our research about Millennials to not make generalizations about the generation because broad stereotypes rarely hold up.  Millennials are extremely diverse.  Here is an article about one subset of Millennials who are not exiting the church, but continue to remain.

If you keep up with Christian news and blogs at all you know there has been a lot of talk about why Millennials are leaving the church.

It is a hot topic for Christian books and speakers, and for good reason. People are trying to understand why Millennials are leaving, if we can get them back and if the problem is with the generation or with the message or presentation of the Church. Continue reading →