Professor’s response to student’s absence: Bring the baby


Morgan King and her daughter, Korbyn, pose for a picture. Morgan's professor offered to take care of Korbyn during class whenever King is unable to find childcare.

© Submitted by Morgan King

A University of Tennessee student got a heart-warming surprise when she emailed her professor about missing class last week.


Morgan King, who studies therapeutic recreation, emailed her professor, Sally Hunter, on June 15 to tell her she had had to miss class the day before because she couldn’t find child care for her daughter, Korbyn.

Read the rest of the story – here.

While many of today’s emerging adults are waiting to have children, it is important to know how to treat these young parents in today’s culture.

The reason that the story went viral is due to a professor embracing the challenges of an emerging adult.  Instead of telling the young mother to suck it up (or calling call her lazy and self-centered), this professor responded with a heart of service.

How can churches respond in the same way to today’s young adults?

Here is an article where I discuss how Millennials are now having children, and how the church can respond to serve them.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is the founder of the EA Network.  If he can help you and your community ministry to the emerging adults in your community, please contact him at

Four Myths About College You Should Reject – Tim Elmore

photo credit: ISC Orientation Week 2nd Meeting Fall 2011 via photopin (license)

I found an interesting article by Tim Elmore.  I think that it is a great read for both parents and emerging adults.

Here is a link to the full article!

Myth One: You Must Attend That Big Name College.

Myth Two: A College Degree Is Always a Good Investment.

Myth Three: A College Loan Is the Best Way to Pay for My Degree.

Myth Four: You Must Have a Bachelor’s Degree to Earn a Middle-class Salary.

One other myth about college… read here.



Millennials are now Parents – What does this mean for the church?

Time Magazine recently featured an article about Millennials examining how they parent.  The transition of Millennials as lazy, narcissistic children into parents is happening quickly (The words lazy and narcissistic came from a previous Time article).  According to Time, “Millennial parents number more than 22 million in the U.S., with about 9,000 babies born to them each day. This growing cohort of parents is digitally native, ethnically diverse, late-marrying, and less bound by traditional gender roles than any generation before it.”  (Source)

According to Time, “Millennial parents are attempting to run their families as mini-democracies, seeking consensus from spouses, kids and extended friend circles on even the smallest decisions. They seek wisdom from those closest to them, rather than the highly-marketed “parenting experts.”  They’re backing away from the overscheduled days of their youth, preferring a more responsive, less directorial approach to activities.”

Here is the full article.

As Millennials become parents, churches will need to respond to connect to this new generations.

Connectivity with their children.

Take my hand from Flickr via Wylio

© 2012 Stephan Hochhaus, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Through the use of technology, Millennials are used to being in constant contact with their children.   Most childcare centers use the latest technology to keep Millennials informed and connected with their children.  They don’t want a paper describing the lesson when they can have a picture of their child showing it.  Millennials are now the main clientele of the nursery, and their values should affect how we serve them.  The days of publicly humiliating them by removing them from the service, or flashing their child’s number on the screen should be over.  In order to provide Millennials with the security they desire use an app or a simple text message.

 Gender Roles as Parents

Today’s millennials do not hold traditional gender roles.  While, the percentage of stay-at-home mothers is increasing (with the recovery of the economy, almost 29 percent of women stay at home with their children), marital roles are more fluid.  Train your staff and volunteers to avoid assumptions and comments based upon traditional gender roles so as to not offend visitors or regular attenders.  [Load graph of Stay at home mothers from Pew Research.]  Avoid sermon illustrations and media pics that present one perspective of family life.

 Use, but don’t abuse Social Media

© 2012 Jason Howie, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

“Eight-four percent of Millennials are social media users, with 66% of Gen X on social networks and 44% of Baby Boomers. According to the study, more than half of the U.S. users on Twitter are Millennials.” (Source)  We should not abuse these platforms to push our own programs, but use these connections to become involved in the lives of people. The appeal of social media is snap shot of people’s lives, and not desperate pleas to come to your events.  Mind your manners on social media, or you eventually will either be ignored or deleted.  As a church, use social media in order to understand their daily lives and know their values.

While it is truly impossible to describe how Millennials as a generation will parent, research reveals that they hold different values, beliefs, and perspectives.  According to the Time article, Millennials want their children to be, “Open-minded. empathetic. questioning.”  These differences will change their expectations for church ministries and staff members.

Church leaders should begin to ask how these values will express themselves as their children enter other ministries of the church.  Our nursery workers will be the first to experience Millennials as parents, and they will lead us into this change.

Leave a comment about how Millennials having children will change the church.

David - Prof 2

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches and parents to minister to emerging adults.

Living at Home as a Adult / Living at Home as a Child – Which are you?

According to research, “40% of 18 to 34 year olds are living at home with one parent or both.  Looking at the younger, 18-to 24 year-old group, more than half have moved back home, at least for a time, in the past few years- or never moved out.  Ther percentage is about the same for men and women.  (Arnett, Getting them to 30, 109)front door

In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

While living at home still carries a negative stigma in many social circles, living at home is not always a negative experience – for the child or the parent.  “Almost 70% of young people 18-34 who are living at home with their parents say they are very satisfied with family life.”  (Arnett, 110)

In this video, the speaker makes several points to illustrate the difference between someone who lives with parents as an adult versus someone who lives at home with an immature perspective.

Here is a link to the full video.

Living at Home

The video states that those who live at home as a Child…

  • treat the home as a hotel.
  • are frivolous spenders.
  • always have something to prove.

Those who live at home as an Adult…

  • always contribute.
  • are not afraid to serve parents and siblings.
  • respect their parents wishes and home.

While the fact that you are living with your parents does not make you a child, how you act while living at home does indicate your maturity.

One of the first points made in the video is that there are several healthy reasons why children choose to live with their parents (including finances and physical health).  While the predominant western mindset values living independently, many cultures have always valued communal living for extended families.

So are you living at home like an Adult or a Child?

Other Links:

How to Plan a Gap Year – Resources

Bluff sign from Flickr via Wylio

© 2006 Will Ellis, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

The American Gap Association is a great resource for those taking a Gap Year.

They have compiled a great FREE guide on how to plan a gap year.

You can download their guide Here!

For a Christian perspective on Gap Years, please check out “God in the Gap Year” by Derek Melby.  You can download this resources here.

Are you a Helicopter Parent? 10 Indicators of your Status

1.    Have you filled out a college or job application for your child?

2.  Have you made a doctor’s appointment for your adult child?

3.  Do you text your child repeatedly only to be ignored?

4.  Does it bother you that you cannot check their missing homework assignments and grades on-line?

5.  Have you called or attempted to talk to your child’s professor?

6.  Do you regularly ask about what they ate for their last meal?

7.  Do you check their bank account balances?

8.  Do you still do their laundry?

9.  Are you still trying to determine their friends and dating partners?

10.  Do you need to have confirmation that they are home each night                and sleeping well?

While some of these questions might be appropriate for a parent to occasionally ask, if you answered yes to several of these questions, you are “hovering.”

If you answered yes,

9-10  You are hovering extremely low, and danger lies ahead for you and your child.

6-8 You are suffocating them, and any of their friends that you haven’t already scared away.

3-5 You are directly overhead, and your child is trying to run for cover.

1-2    Great job!  You have found new ways to show love to your child as they step into adulthood.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage emerging adults and their parents.





Go Get a Job – The Developmental Reasons for Adolescents to Work during High School

While “Go Get a Job” can become the go-to response for parents whose children are regularly asking for money, getting a job is a big decision for both adolescents and their parents.  The purpose of this article is to help parents think through the reasons why an adolescents should get a job.   While getting your child away from the house may be helpful, as one parent said, “There needs to be a measurable, attainable goal.”

Here are some good reasons to allow your adolescent to “Go Get a Job:”

1.  Financial Need

Parents should communicate to their children through word and deed that they are not a source of endless money regardless of their life stage.  One parents says, “Whether or not my children get a job is up to them, but I will not be handing out free money.”  Saying no to your children’s financial demands is great motivation for them to get a job, and develops a sense of personal autonomy.

© 2008 Jason Tester Guerrilla Futures, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

I have seen so many parents take second jobs, and work around the clock in order to fulfill each demand of their adolescent children.  This is especially true in today’s world when college is perceived as an entitlement rather than an opportunity.  Speak regularly with your adolescents to set their expectations about college.  One parent says her children, “worked hard for the privilege of getting a higher education. I don’t think they’ll take it for granted, ever.”  Parents should not be seen as benefactors of their children, but both children and parents are participants within the family system.

2.  Learn Skills

Entry-level jobs can teach skills that are key to life development.  One emerging adults states, “A job helped me to learn skills to keep a work schedule, manage my own money and time, and interact with managers, bosses, and coworkers.”  Another Emerging Adult says, “As a soccer referee, I learned how to treat people professionally even when they don’t reciprocate.”  This emerging adult took his soccer knowledge, and turned it into a vocational skill.  Skills learned by adolescents include:  responsibility, time management, the value of work, working with others, working with customers, computer skills, dealing with authority, and business etiquette.

3.  Discern Vocation

© 2009 Alex France, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

Adolescents are ready to begin a life-long journey of finding work that will provide for themselves and those they love.  In these early jobs, emerging adults can learn what type of work fulfills them.  For example, an adolescent can learn whether they enjoy working with people, or working alone.  One emerging adult reflects, “I wish looking back that I had invested more in jobs that would have prepared me for a career after school, by focusing on getting administrative or service experience.  Instead, I went for what worked with my schedule and paid the most.”

 4.  Social Skills

While getting your kid out of the house should not be the only motivation, your child must learn to develop new social networks.  Learning social skills including:  listening, following authority, smiling, contributing to conversations, and managing conflict are crucial.  One emerging adult shares their experience.  “I just liked the job, because I had a friend who worked there so we had a blast working together, and all the adults in the place loved us and treated us like their kids. I’m still FB friends with most of them.”  Sometimes parents want to protect our children from outside influences during high school; however, it is important that adolescents are able to build their own social network.

 5.  Learn Autonomy

A workplace setting will require the adolescent to develop autonomy.  As a parent, you must allow them to make their own decisions and face the consequences.  It is not your job to wake them up for work each morning, to call their boss, or to fill out their paperwork.  If an adolescent’s first job comes through family connections, it is even more important that parents stay out of their work world, and allow the child to achieve or fail based upon their own performance.

There are several reasons to encourage your children venture out into the world of work.  One parent writes, “each family has to look at the individual kid and see what makes sense for them and the family.  Every child will be different.”

May God guide you as you reflect on your child’s developmental needs.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

My Eating Disorder – a Story of Fear and Faith

© 2010 Rega Photography, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

It is easy to look back and see I how got there.  It is easy to look back and see how I started the journey back.  Although at the time, I didn’t see the signs that led me in, or led me out.  Somehow when you are in the midst of a struggle, all signs seem to vanish.  Continue reading

School Debt Consolidation – Don’t Get Fooled!

Debt from Flickr via Wylio

© 2013 Simon Cunningham, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Thieves will always follow a trail of money.  In today’s world, educational debt is a big business; therefore, it should not be a surprise us that people are making a living off stealing from those who are buried in school debt.

The average debt for a graduating student in 2013 was $32,500 (Source).  This number continues to escalate with the rise in college tuition.  This number includes an average of $3,000 in credit card debt.  Debt is difficult to repay for students who graduate, but we must also remember those who are not able to finish their education.

Feelings of desperation causes people to run towards news that sounds too good to be true.

Here is the article that explains the scams.

Debt is not a game.  It is real, and will affect your life.  Proverbs 22:7 says, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”   As Christians, we must use wisdom as we make decisions about educational debt.


4 Ways to Know When God is Resetting Your Parental Narrative.

Senior couple and their dautherI found this article, and I know that it will be a great encouragement to both Emerging Adults and their parents.  It is a great reminder to parents that worth is not based on the outcome of their children, but in the fact that the God of the universe loves them.

Is your identity based solely on God, or are you still seeking to find it in your children? Pastor Tom Goodman offers four qualities of parents who are no longer seeking validation from their children’s behavior.

1.  You can rejoice with other parents.

2.  You can react patiently to ignorance.

3.  You can decide when you have done enough.

4.  You can take pressure off other children.

Take a moment and recenter your worth, identity, and purpose in God alone.