Category Archives: For Parents

3 REASONS COLLEGIATE DAY OF PRAYER MATTERS

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For over 200 years the last Thursday of February has been set aside as a day to pray for the college campus. The campus that is a few blocks from your home. The campus that is located hundreds of miles from your city in a region of our country that has very little evangelical presence. The campus where you earned a degree. Collegiate Day of Prayer has a significant history in the spiritual awakenings that have been birthed in our nation on the college campuses.

Read more here!

Praying for those who leave for college campuses is very important, that is why, I believe every church should have at least one prayer campaign a year focused on college campuses.  If you want to launch a prayer campaign at your church, here is an idea.

Mark WhittMark Whitt writes about why the Collegiate Day of Prayer matters to your college ministry.   He is the Collegiate and Young Adult Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources. Before joining LifeWay, he spent many years on the campus of Murray State University as a campus minister.

National Network for those who Minister to Emerging Adults

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In the 1960’s, Wayne Rice and Mike Yacconeli came together to convince the church that ministering to youth was essential for the health of the church.  Their vision turned into the organization Youth Specialties.    According to Mike, “We sure didn’t know where youth ministry or our little company was headed.  All we knew was that God was somehow inviting us into this thing.”

group of girls2

Copyright 2014 by Aaron Robert Photography. Used with permission.

 

Our culture has shifted in the past fifty years, changing the role of church within our country, the role of faith within the life of the individual, and the metanarrative of human development.   These shifts have altered our perception of human development and created a new life phase called “Emerging Adulthood.”

As our world rapidly changes, there is a great need for those ministering to emerging adults to stand and work together.

Together we can accomplish more for the Kingdom.  Together we can…

Gather resources, share ideas, and speak as one that we might attract the attention of others.

But it is more than that… we must awaken the voices of EA’s so they can share.  Give them platforms so they can be heard.  We must show emerging adults that we are listening.  We will convince them that they are not the object of our work, but that side-by-side, we will labor.

group of girls

Copyright 2014 by Aaron Robert Photography. Used with permission.

For in this unity, the church will become all that she was intended to be.

That her body might be whole, and that her beauty might be revealed through diversity as the generations worship our bride – Jesus Christ.

I have glimpses of the vision.  I have two hands, one of which holds a pen.  I have pennies in a bucket.  I know a few people who stand beside me in this work.

It is not much, but it is a start.

Who has hands that are ready to work?    

Who has resources to contribute to this movement?  

Who has the connections to get the ball rolling?  

Who has a passion that cannot be contained? 

Who has a vision of what could be?  

Not for the sake of any organization, but for the sake of the Kingdom.  Not for the sake of another conference, but for our common purpose.  Not for the sake of another voice, but a medium through which we can hear His voice.

To whoever has resources, let them give. To whoever has hands, here is a shovel.  To whoever has a vision, let them speak.

If you resonate with this call, you may have something to contribute.  Please contact me.

May we together step forward in faith, and look forward to seeing what God will do.

profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to help churches and parents understand emerging adulthood.

The TV show that All Parents of Millennials Should be Watching!

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I am always behind when it comes to watching television.  On average, I would say about 7 years!  This past year, some friends introduced us to a new sitcom called the Middle.

The Middle is set in small town Indiana (which I know from experience has a very unique culture).  Patricia Heaton is great – who became famous in the show – “Everybody Loves Raymond”.  The Middle is currently in its 7th season on ABC.  During the last two seasons, Axl and Sue have grown up and left for college, and the show has touched upon several of the issues that parents of Emerging Adults face – homesickness, money, autonomy, financial aid, vocation, identity formation, and renewing your relationship with your spouse as the children leave home.  Watching the show will help you understand that you are not alone, and puts a positive and funny tone to all that you are going through.

Here is a description of the show:

In the Heck family, middle-age, middle-class, middle-America mom Frankie Heck (two-time Emmy winner Patricia Heaton) uses a sense of humor to try to steer her family through life’s ups and downs as she tackles her career goals. Her unflappable husband, Mike (Neil Flynn), is a manager at the local quarry. Oldest son Axl is an obstinate young man; awkward daughter Sue cannot seem to find her niche — despite much enthusiasm in her attempts — and youngest son Brick is an unusual child whose best friend is his backpack.

Here is a link that I found where their second child – Sue is calling home from college because she is homesick.

the middle

 

 

Living With Your Parents: How to Make It Work

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I came across an article, and wanted to pass it along!

It’s not all bad; it’s also not all good.

Photo of a young adult Asian woman living with her parentsSo it happened. You thought you’d be on your own by now, but you’re not. Whether you’re trying to land a steady job, get out of debt, or finish college on the eight-year plan, if you’re living with your parents as a 20-something, you’re not alone. More than a third of 18 to 31 year olds are living with their parents, according to the Current Population Survey. Continue reading →

What It’s Really Like To Move Back In With Your Parents

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Over the past few years, the percentage of 25-to-34-year-old Americans living with their parents has been at a record high of nearly 15%. Student debt and difficulty finding a job are sending millennials back home in droves — and though this type of arrangement is certainly easier on the wallet, it can wreak havoc on a young adult’s self-image.

Here is the full article.

I don’t really agree with everything in the article.  The article is not based upon research, but it based upon three women’s experiences.  However, I do know that emerging adults have varied and complex emotions when moving back home which is partially due to societal pressure, and their desire to feel like an “adult.”

Research indicates that most parents and emerging adults enjoy their time spent at home.  In his book, Arnett says, “When kids boomerang home, they bring more pleasure than pain. (Arnett, xi)  The book also says that “Of the parents who have an emerging adult child living with them, 61 percent describe their feelings about it as “mostly positive” and only 6 percent describe the experience as “mostly negative.”

For this reason, it is important we redefine adulthood according to the three developmental tasks rather than where you sleep at night.

Resources:

Getting to 30 by Jeffrey Arnett and Fishel

Living at Home as a Adult / Living at Home as a Child – Which are you?

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According to research, “40% of 18 to 34 year olds are living at home with one parent or both.  Looking at the younger, 18-to 24 year-old group, more than half have moved back home, at least for a time, in the past few years- or never moved out.  Ther percentage is about the same for men and women.  (Arnett, Getting them to 30, 109)front door

In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

While living at home still carries a negative stigma in many social circles, living at home is not always a negative experience – for the child or the parent.  “Almost 70% of young people 18-34 who are living at home with their parents say they are very satisfied with family life.”  (Arnett, 110)

In this video, the speaker makes several points to illustrate the difference between someone who lives with parents as an adult versus someone who lives at home with an immature perspective.

Here is a link to the full video.

Living at Home

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGV_YBM0KXQ

The video states that those who live at home as a Child…

  • treat the home as a hotel.
  • are frivolous spenders.
  • always have something to prove.

Those who live at home as an Adult…

  • always contribute.
  • are not afraid to serve parents and siblings.
  • respect their parents wishes and home.

While the fact that you are living with your parents does not make you a child, how you act while living at home does indicate your maturity.

One of the first points made in the video is that there are several healthy reasons why children choose to live with their parents (including finances and physical health).  While the predominant western mindset values living independently, many cultures have always valued communal living for extended families.

So are you living at home like an Adult or a Child?

Other Links:

Boomerang Kids – What does this trend mean for the church?

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I came across an article this week that focuses on the increase of women who are living at home.  While the article focuses on the increase of women, the numbers of women and men living with their parents continues to increase.

Here is the full article.

We need to explore what this trend means for the church.

What does this trend mean for parents, educators, and those who minister to emerging adults?

1.  In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

2. New boundaries must be established within the home when a child moves home to further rather than delay the child’s development.  (Setting Boundaries While Living at Home)

3.  We must avoid criticizing or shaming those who live at home.   We must avoid criticizing or shaming parents who allow their children to live at home.

4.  We must be prepared to counsel emerging adults as they decide where to live, and how it will affect their lives (spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially).

This is only scratching the surface of this issue.  Please leave your thoughts below to further the discussion.

Other Links:

profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip those who minister to emerging adults.

Conversation, Empathy, and Emerging Adults – by Jana Sundene

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Sapienta is an on-line resources that is sponsored by Trinity International University that focuses on research on emerging adulthood.  Jana Sundene, co-author of Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults, wrote this great article concerning the affect of digital communication upon the empathy skills of emerging adults.  In this article, Jana conveys displays two things I love: a passion for emerging adults, and a positive perspective towards their impact upon the future of the church.  Here is the article…

Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry TurtleIt seems like every time I turn around I am hearing something about Sherry Turkle’s new book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.Whether it is an interview, a podcast, an article or a review, this book appears to have hit a nerve with the general public.

Indeed, concern about how electronic devices and social media are affecting our relationships has been growing. I know it’s not just the older generations because very time I bring up this as a topic of discussion with the emerging adults in my college courses, the classroom lights up with comments and opinions.

Click here for the full article.

Here are some highlight quotes:

  • From David Setran – “While cell phones preserve connections with individuals in a variety of locations, they may also compromise the ability to be fully present in any one place. Many emerging adults prefer virtual dispersion to embodied and situated connections with God, people, and texts.”
  • Empathy, the ability to put ourselves in the place of the other, requires presence and is an important pre-requisite of compassion.
  • Their empathy, their strongest sense of compassion, seems to be toward groups of people who are “situated elsewhere.” This is a definitely a strength and a huge gift to offer to the church.

So next time you find yourself in a situation with an emerging adult, give them the gift of presence.  After bestowing this precious gift,  don’t expect or demand that it to be fully repaid.  Like other acts of giving, it should spring from an over-flowing heart, and lead by the tug of the Spirit.  

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.

What Kind of Leaders are Millennials?

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closeup of a young man with the word yolo, for you only live once, tattooed in his hand, with a filter effect

The title of this article immediately irritates me – any piece of writing or study that claims to state how an entire generation leads is going to be filled with assumptions, stereotypes, and generic statements that don’t mean much.  (I am also not sure how their picture connects with the article?)

However, here are a few points that all church leaders should ponder:

You can check out the complete article here.

  • “Millennials want to be leaders. Ninety-one percent of millennials aspire to be leaders, according to The Millennial Leadership Study.”  Could this be why some are leaving the church?
  • “Interestingly, of the 91 percent seeking leadership responsibilities, more than half are women. More women in leadership roles could impact or even break up the “good ol’ boys” network and pay inequality, criticized by so many today.”
  • “Millennials realize they lack experience and skills, and the study reports that 53 percent are eager to learn from mentors.”  What does this look like with Millennials?
  • “Millennials may be misunderstood. But as the largest generation in the workforce, they have a significant influence. It’s only a matter of time before they begin redefining leadership and other workplace trends.”

Millennials who lead come in all shapes and sizes.  While their styles will be shaped by the values of their generation (like authenticity), defining their leadership style (like any other generation) is impossible.