What if your 20’s weren’t what you expected?

Millennials who are said to have been pampered and babied through life are often unfairly characterized as being delusional and selfish.  Rather than characterize a generation in a negative light, we should seek to personally minister to those emerging adults that God has placed around us.  It is not just emerging adults who struggle because they thought life would be easier.  All humans struggle with overcoming broken dreams and failing expectations.

Pain isn’t a Respector of age, but it comes on the young and the old alike.  Life is hard, but God is good.

The author states that when facing disappointment, we “need to grow new expectations, ones that wait for God to show up in ways we couldn’t imagine, to expect seasons of joy and grace in the midst of difficulties. We need courage to find new dreams when our old ones aren’t happening.”   

I found this article applicable to those in their 20’s, and to all who are wrestling with broken expectations.

 

http://thegospelcoalition.org/article/what-if-your-20s-werent-what-you-expected

Dealing with the Dark Side of Church History (EA Version)

Have you ever been in a group when the conversation turned to religious abuse, or the dark side of the church?  Inwardly you stomach starts to churn, and your hands begin to sweat.

The church definitely has a long list of dark moments including: the Crusades, witch trials, slavery, domestic abuse, and the concept of “Manifest Destiny.”  Church leaders sometimes defended the atrocities of their times using bias interpretations of the Bible, while at other times they were silent.

Rather than covering up these past failures, the church should be open about confessing its faults, and be authentic about how it is an institution being led into change by the Holy Spirit to redeem the world and further God’s Kingdom.

If church history becomes a discussion in the classroom, or in the dorm, here are a few thoughts to help you discuss the Dark Side of Church History.

1.            Be Honest about the past.

Acknowledge the church didn’t stand on the right side.  Early church leaders claimed that the earth was in the center of the universe, and persecuted those who supported Copernicus’ theory.  Galileo was placed under house arrest for his writings.

This wreath and doll was one of many left at the memorial this week. The memorial is for those persecuted in the Salem witch trials in Massachusetts in 1692.The text on the doll reads:Hatred and prejudice now banishedLet love resideAcross ...

Memorial in Salem Massachusetts

The church and its theology has been greatly affected throughout history by race, power, and politics.  Decisions on how the Bible should be interpreted were highly influenced by more than just the Holy Spirit, but were often taken over by sinful human will.  All of us approach scripture with a biased perception and often interpret the Bible to support our views.

The church and its theology has been greatly affected throughout history by race, power, ethnicity.   Studying church history showed me how issues of race shaped aspects of our theology.   All of us approach scripture with a biased perception and often interpret the Bible to support our views.

Finding fault in the church is not the same as finding fault with God.  The church becomes spotless bride in heaven through the blood of Jesus.  Right now, the church has more than its share of faults and issues.

Acknowledge that sometimes the church didn’t agree with each issue.  During Hitler’s rise to power, the church split over their support for the dictator.  Martin Niemöller and Dietrich Bonhoeffer were two leaders of the church in Germany who opposed him, and put their lives in jeopardy to stand for what they believed.  Sometimes church leaders changed their positions as the culture and climate changed.

In the United States, churches in the south often supported slavery, while many other Christians fought for abolition.  This division was often based on their geographical location with southern churches using the Bible to support the concept of slavery.

While the past is dark, we…

2.            Don’t speak for the Past.

As a Christian, you don’t have to speak for the past.  You are not the defense attorney for Christianity in your Introduction to Philosophy class.  Our limited perspective doesn’t allow us too. You were not there, and you will not be held accountable for the failures of others.

However, you can mourn the past, and be sorrowful over what has occurred.  Discover ways to identify with the past, and understand the issues.  (For example, I suggest watching 12 Years a Slave in order to address the difficulties of slavery.)  Identifying with those wronged by the church will help us develop empathy, and enable us to better speak and direct them to Christ.

3.            Learn from the Past.

As a child, I remember the day when I pick a fight with my neighbor Tommy who was older and weighed fifty pounds more than me.  Within a few minutes, I was pinned under that weight, and helpless.  It was the last day, I fought with Tommy.

When examining the past of the church, Paul states that we should remember to learn from past examples, and remember that all of us are susceptible to failure.  I Corinthians 10:11 says, “Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.…”

God is the judge, and so let Him judge the past actions of others.  However, we can learn from them, and examine our own beliefs and actions.

Remember God is redeeming the church and our world.  We are called to follow God and work to further His Kingdom.  Your generation is bound to make mistakes, just as those before you.  There is desperate need for humility as the church approaches the Word, while discerning how to respond to social issues.

The church is not perfect, it is only spotless by the blood of Jesus.

Wake Me Up When It is Over

Recently, my church performed the song, “Wake Me Up” by Avicii. 

Here is my reflection on why we often want to skip through life.

turn in autumnWe want to skip to the ending without feeling the weight if the story. We want to arrive at the destination without a scuff on our shoes. We want to experience the victory without being in the battle. We want the results without putting in the time. We want the goods without paying the price.

The end of the journey will be better with calloused hands, worn out shoes, familiar scars, and memories.

These are the things that will make it real. These are the things that make it not a show we watch, but a life we experienced.

So I will open my eyes and look around me. I will embrace the pallet of colors drawn around me both light and dark. I will put my hands to the plow though my hands are blistered. I will take the next step into the darkness because I know what lies ahead. I will take a deep breath of the air though I feel its toxicity. I will put away the distractions that have numbed my pain and cause me to sleep.

I will work for that which is unrealized on this earth. I will keep my eyes on that which is unseen. I will keep my ears tuned to the voice if the shepherd. I will cling to the one who is not the God of the end. He is the God of the beginning. He is the God of the entire journey.

If I reject the moment, then I am rejecting Him.

Last minute Gift Ideas for MOM beyond a trip to WALMART.

mom and sonMother’s Day is almost here.  So before you run out and buy the typical potted plant or new shirt, here are a few ideas for those who are on a low-budget.

Technology assistance – Is there something that she can’t do without your help?  I recently took the time to download a few games on her tablet, and she couldn’t have been more thankful.  Sit down with a computer and show her a few tricks about how to get out of annoying Facebook conversations, or see just the people she wants to see on her feed.

Handwritten Card – Anyone else suffering sticker shock from greeting cards?  Avoid them altogether.  Your mother remembers your cards from childhood with misspelled words, and stick people.  A hand-written card still has the same affect today.  It doesn’t have to be poetic, or grammatically correct.  Just put your thoughts down.

Facebook Adoration – While this does not count as a gift or personal interaction, showing that you are publicly thankful and proud of your mother will definitely lift her spirits.

Time Alone – Schedule a time alone with mom where the two of you go for a walk, or spend time doing an activity that you enjoy together.  If you can’t do it on Mother’s Day, then schedule a special time and date so she knows that it is coming.  Avoid problem topics, and just reminisce on your lives together.

Personalized Jewelry – While you could pick up a necklace as you walk through Kohl’s, it will probably after a few weeks end up hidden in her jewelry box.  However, a personalized piece of jewelry will melt their heart, and will stick around a while.  Here is a company that I highly suggest.

Surprise Visit – If you are away at school, pack your bags and make a trip home just for her.  (Make sure you don’t bring her your dirty laundry like I did once…or twice.)  Ring the doorbell, and wait for her to come to the door.  Mothers love their kids, and what is better than extra time.

Work Together – Is there something you know how to do, that could help her out?  Helping mom get that closet clean, or washing the windows.  Some chores are accomplished better when you are not alone.

If you thought this article would solve Mother’s Day as easily as walking into a department store, I am sorry.

Whatever you do, make sure that it is tailored specifically to your mom.  Walmart can’t do that.  Target always misses the mark.  The perfect gift really only comes when you spend time planning it.

Only you know your mother, and can make her Mother’s Day special.

Written by:  G. David Boyd

Building Your Credit – As two become one.

build credit togetherAs I talked about to young couple starting marriage, one of their main concerns was building their credit score.  Credit scores are important for couple who are considering borrowing money for larger purchases like a car or home.  After two people say, “I Do.”  Your credit score affects both of you.

I searched around the web and found a great article for those who are in the process of building their credit score.

The only part that I don’t appreciate is there assumption on Point #6, “All relationships end.”  While divorce is common even among Christians, what a terrible outlook on marriage!  If you assume that your relationship is going to end, you will not fully give yourself to the marriage.  Marriage relationships require both partners to fully commitment themselves to the long-haul.

May God guide and strengthen your marriage.

 

 

11 Things Millennials only do in Articles about Millennials.

Hate cars with every fiber of their being.

Millennials hate cars with every fiber of their being. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.

Here is a great humorous piece that I found that illustrates how Millennials are often wrongly characterized in media.

The article’s main point:  “Stop your millennial trend pieces. We don’t all act the same way and love the same thing. Well, except when it comes to Game of Thrones.”

Statistics are helpful as we try to understand and relate to other generations.  Unfortunately, sometimes articles are written using skewed statistics, unreliable statistics, or no statistics at all.

Have a good laugh, and may it cause you not to judge another person by the statistics of their generation.

Your Church is Not Alone…

churchIf your high school student are disappearing after graduation…

If having “more youth” means having more babies…

If your congregation is greying…

If you are still confused by what a Millennial is, let alone how it matters to your church…

If you pray, and pray, and pray, and see no change …

If the young know what is wrong with your church…

If the old know what is wrong with your church…

If these two sides cannot agree on anything…

If your parents of emerging adults are suffering in shame over their kids…

If your emerging adults are suffering in shame over themselves…

If your parents of high school students are scared of what lies ahead…

If you have a passion to see the generations united…

If you no longer want to fear what lies ahead…

If you want to make a difference…

 

You are not alone, but normal.  Welcome to normal.  We can help.

EA Resources is dedicated to helping churches understand the world of Emerging Adults.  We hold seminars on parenting emerging adults, preparing adolescents for emerging adulthood, and helping churches understand Millennials.  If we can help your community, please contact Dr. G. David Boyd at gdavid@earesources.org.

Engaging Gamers within the Church

video gamer stats pictureOne principle of writing is to write about what you know about.  While all writers sometimes break that rule, video gaming is one topic that I know very well.  My gaming began in the early days with Pitfall, Pacman, and Frogger.  It became an obsession when my mother bought me a Nintendo for Christmas (she still regrets that day).  Currently, my favorite games include:  Marvel Legos, Clash of Clans, Game of War, and Skyrim.

In my life, I have often used my love for gaming to build relationships with other gamers within the religious community.  However, many churches do not know how to engage this segment of our society.  I actually find that church communities are hostile to those who enjoy gaming.

Why do we celebrate when people watch hours of sporting events a week (and even fantasy sporting events); and yet if someone spends that same time playing video games, they are labeled as immature, nerdy, and lazy?

If your community is ready to embrace and engage gamers, here are few things you should know.

1.    The gaming industry is not something to ignore. 

About two-thirds of Americans (211.5 million) play video games in the U.S (statistics).  This means that your church is filled with gamers, but many of them are afraid to admit it due to the negative stereotypes placed on gamers by judgmental Christians.

Not only are gamers influential by numbers, but many gamers have financial resources.  Although I do not spend much money on this hobby, most gamers are willing to spend money.  (I buy clearance used games, and never pay for game up-grades)  Consumers spent 20.77 billion dollars in 2012 on this industry.  In my small clan of 100 people in Game of War, the group probably spends approximately $8000 a month.  This is not in subscription fees to play, but for added game bonuses.

I do not think that the church should start producing Christian video games, or provide gaming counsels during the worship services.  I am not saying that the church should hold HALO tournaments (a top-grossing game), or promote Grand Theft Auto.  However, the church needs to begin discussions about the ramifications of gaming on our society, our faith, and the church.

2.     The gaming industry is breaking stereotypes.

The gaming community is not a nerdy, reclusive segment of our society.  While there are people who are both nerdy and reclusive in this community, gamers can no longer be stereotyped.  Most people would envision the gaming community to be composed entirely of adolescent and emerging adult males.  However, the statistics show a much broader image. Only 25% of gamers are in high school, while 26% are over the age of fifty.  (This statistic shocked even me, because this group didn’t grow up on Nintendo.)

video gamer stats 2The gaming community is not restricted to men.  Statistics show that 40% of gamers are females.  On-line gaming communities are FILLED with women, who are not trying to pick-up dates, but are serious about gaming.  Stereotyping gamers reveals a person’s ignorance about our culture, and a lack of relevance to culture today.

The church can engage gamers when negative stereotypes are removed from the activity.  We don’t shame people from watching television, playing sports, or watching sports.  Why are gamers mocked publicly in messages and characterized as immature?  I believe this causes many gamers to not share who they are at church because of their fear of being publicly shamed.  Discernment should be used as to what a person is allowing into their thoughts, but gaming is not inherently evil.  Just as other hobbies are not.

The church has the opportunity to show the gaming community that they are an important part of our society, and that their faith matters in our world.  Look for opportunities to share examples and stories from the gaming world.  Video games examples can be found that cover a range of topics including:  purity, values, bullying, teamwork, and courage.

3.     The gaming community can be mobilized the                  Kingdom. 

Gamers can be mobilized not because of their love of games, but because they are followers of Christ who have the Spirit working within them.

Gaming is not my life.  It is a hobby.  When I engage my hobby, I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus to this community.  In the last month, our gaming community has discussed:  death, drugs, alcohol, cancer, and unemployment.  Although we live all over the globe, these connections and conversations are real.

A new message can be conveyed to gamers.  I will be excited when the day comes and I hear someone talk about their gaming experience from the pulpit.  I will be excited when gamers are challenged alongside other hobbyists to lay aside their recreation for the sake of the Cross.  I will be excited when gamers no longer feel isolated or shamed within the church.

I am advocating for an area of culture that needs the Light.  May this simply be the beginning of a discussion as to how to engage gamers for the sake of God’s kingdom.

All Statistics can be found – http://www.esrb.org/about/video-game-industry-statistics.jsp

Death is Wrong – A Children’s Book on Death?

I have the perfect Christmas gift for you!  Actually, Christmas is too far away.  How about buying it for a birthday present, or maybe simply buy it as soon as possible.  (I am totally kidding.)

A recent children’s book was published by philosopher Gennady Stolyarov II.  This children’s book tries to show that death is wrong, and should be defeated through medicine, science, and technology.  According to Amazon, “You will learn about some amazingly long-lived plants and animals, recent scientific discoveries that point the way toward lengthening lifespans in humans, and simple, powerful arguments that can overcome the common excuses for death.”

Remember this is a fully-illustrated children’s book.  One that almost seems humorous if it were not so sad.  This book is an attempt to explain death apart from life in God.

What perspective should we be teaching about death?  If we are honest, we rarely teach anything.  Few of us think about it, and even fewer are willing to talk about it.  When is the last time that you heard a sermon about…death.  It is almost considered a taboo subject – too depressing, and too morbid.

However, a healthy perspective of death leads us to a healthy perspective of life.

Is death wrong?  The answer to this is yes.  Death is the result of something that has gone wrong.  In the beginning, God created a perfect world, and made man and woman to have fellowship with Him in the garden.  Death was a result of sin.

Death is truly wrong. 

But death is now also right.

Death is right because death will mark the end of this life, and the beginning of everlasting life in heaven.  Death is right because it will mark the end of our battle with sin and satan.  Death is right because it was defeated by Jesus when He rose again, and secured a way for us to be reunited with God.

A healthy perspective of death calls us to embrace life.  A healthy perspective calls us to embrace aging.  A healthy perspective calls us to embrace our future as finite humans – not with fear, but in faith.