Tag Archives: death

When Dying is your next Career

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PHYLLISI came across a great article this week that I wanted to share with you.  It is entitled, Author Phyllis Tickle Faces Death As She Enjoyed Life: ‘The Dying Is My Next Career’.  The article was written by David Gibson, and was presented by the Huffington Post.

According to the article, “Phyllis Tickle is a Southern-born and -bred mother of seven and a doyenne of religion writers. She is now 81, and a widow living on a small farm in Lucy, Tenn., just outside of Memphis. On the land where her cows once roamed, stray dogs she has adopted and some family surround her. She is being treated for Stage IV cancer.”

Earlier this week, I wrote how Christians need to present a better view of aging and dying.  This article is part of a new perspective.

Phyllis Tickle is a great example of a Christ-follower.  Here are a few of my favorite lines from the interview:

  • OK, now I know what it’s probably going to be, and probably how much time there is. So you can clean up some of the mess you’ve made and tie up some of the loose ends.”
  • “I am no more afraid of dying than I am of, I don’t know, drinking this coffee,”
  • “Christianity is reconfiguring,” she says. “It’s almost going through another adolescence. And it’s going to come out a better, more mature adult. There’s no question about that.”

My favorite is the Title… The dying is my next career.  Her career has been filled with teaching and writing others how to follow God.

Click here for the Article!

 

What will we teach Millennials about Aging?

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Summer Deck from Flickr via Wylio

© 2011 Todd Petit, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

This past week, I sat on my porch catching up with a long-time friend and emerging adult.  While enjoying the Minnesota summer sun, we talked about life – the simple and complex.  At one shift during the conversation, we discussed aging.  Having just turned 28, he felt as if time had turned against him.

Humans hate aging.  We spend billions of dollars in order to look and feel younger.  I will not attempt to reverse this hatred towards aging and death; however, I believe that if anyone in our world can put a positive spin on aging and death – it is Christians.  While we live in a society of growing “Nones” (Those claiming to be non-religious.), Christians claim a set of beliefs that offer another perspective.

Millard tombstone from Flickr via Wylio

© 2005 Andy / Andrew Fogg, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

  • We believe in an afterlife.
  • We believe in an afterlife that is good.
  • We believe in an afterlife that will reverse the pain, suffering, and blemishes of this world.
  • We believe that this good afterlife is timeless.

Or at least, we say that we do.  Most Christians avoid the topic of death and dying as if they hold no answers.  I know that doubt filters in, and can cause us to stumble.  However, we should regularly reflect on Jesus’ words,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Jesus knew his disciples would be troubled by an unknown future, and calls them to trust Him.

Our faith demands that we hold to a different view of the human experience to Millennials.  One in which each phase of life is to be embraced (including dying) and enjoyed.

From our platforms and porches, we need to restore a vision for human death and aging.  We need to cling to faith, and live out our lives in view of our beliefs about death.

A theologically sound view of aging will remove our distaste for it.

A theologically sound view of death will remove its sting.

Teaching and living this view is one Christian belief that will appeal to a world of growing “Nones” and Millennials.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.david in hat - black

Death is Wrong – A Children’s Book on Death?

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I have the perfect Christmas gift for you!  Actually, Christmas is too far away.  How about buying it for a birthday present, or maybe simply buy it as soon as possible.  (I am totally kidding.)

A recent children’s book was published by philosopher Gennady Stolyarov II.  This children’s book tries to show that death is wrong, and should be defeated through medicine, science, and technology.  According to Amazon, “You will learn about some amazingly long-lived plants and animals, recent scientific discoveries that point the way toward lengthening lifespans in humans, and simple, powerful arguments that can overcome the common excuses for death.”

Remember this is a fully-illustrated children’s book.  One that almost seems humorous if it were not so sad.  This book is an attempt to explain death apart from life in God.

What perspective should we be teaching about death?  If we are honest, we rarely teach anything.  Few of us think about it, and even fewer are willing to talk about it.  When is the last time that you heard a sermon about…death.  It is almost considered a taboo subject – too depressing, and too morbid.

However, a healthy perspective of death leads us to a healthy perspective of life.

Is death wrong?  The answer to this is yes.  Death is the result of something that has gone wrong.  In the beginning, God created a perfect world, and made man and woman to have fellowship with Him in the garden.  Death was a result of sin.

Death is truly wrong. 

But death is now also right.

Death is right because death will mark the end of this life, and the beginning of everlasting life in heaven.  Death is right because it will mark the end of our battle with sin and satan.  Death is right because it was defeated by Jesus when He rose again, and secured a way for us to be reunited with God.

A healthy perspective of death calls us to embrace life.  A healthy perspective calls us to embrace aging.  A healthy perspective calls us to embrace our future as finite humans – not with fear, but in faith.

Missing Beckham – A Father’s Story of Loss and Healing

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Losing a child is the single most difficult emotional, spiritual, and physical journey of my life.  In the immediate days and week following the stillbirth of Beckham, I felt the extreme emotions of anguish and peace, despair and hope, love and hate, doubt and trust.  The pendulum of emotions feels like being stuck in the ocean’s rough surf.  You’re struggling to catch your next breath and to clear your stinging eyes before the next wave forces you under.

I found it difficult to be alone (at times feeling as if I would suffocate).  I could not focus on work (I had to take an extended break).  I tried to distract myself with entertainment, but that only brought short-lived relief.  I wanted to disengage from the rhythms of life (friends, church, work, etc.) but forced myself to reengage.  My entire being was consumed by my burden of grief.

My grief came from being unable to raise my son.  I will never get to change his diapers, see him take his first steps, hear him speak his first words, watch him graduate from school, get married, have kids, or tell him about Jesus and how much God loves him.

I will remember Beckham every day of my life for the rest of my life.  I will always think about what he would be doing if he were here with us.  I will get through my grief, but I will never get over my son.  Some have compared it to having a limb of your body amputated…although you heal, you are never the same again.

Our community surrounded us with love during our time of loss.   Helping with the practical needs of the family like food, house-cleaning, and childcare allowed us time to grieve.  My sister gave us a beautiful evergreen scented candle.  This gift led us to plant an evergreen tree in our backyard to celebrate his due date.

During this time, I read Is God to Blame?  by Greg Boyd.  He writes that the death of a child is a “mystery about creation and not a mystery about God’s character.”  In other words, don’t blame God and let go of the WHY question.  You don’t have to confuse the hurt with the Healer.  He loves you, loves your child, and knows what you’re feeling.  Things won’t always go the way that we think they should, but it is true that God will be there with us every step of the way. Trust in God’s goodness and remember that the Day is coming when all things will be made new.

Sensing God’s gracious touches at every point in my grief helped me in my journey.  I have felt God’s presence at every step.  He hears every note of my lament and graciously met my pain in ways that heal me.

On December 26, 2011 at 4 AM, as I stood sobbing in the ER, I realized the truth that God knows what it is like to lose a Son.  I spoke it out loud as I stood huddled in the arms of the hospital chaplain.  I say it again in the moments when I feel the darkness overwhelming me.  For the darkness cannot overcome the truth of the light (John 1:6).

I will get through the experience of grief, but I will never get over my son!  I will think of him EVERYDAY of my life till I get to meet him in heaven.  The theme of my second year since Beckham’s stillbirth has been to ARISE.  I sense God showing me that I can arise from my grief and dare to hope that life will be beautiful again.

In my journey, a year was just the beginning.  In order to fully embrace the grief process, you must be patient with yourself.  Only you know how long and in what ways you need to grieve to heal and find that new normal.

For those of you who are in the midst of your own journey.  Please know that you will heal.  And although you won’t be the same person, you will find a new normal.  Keep your head up as much as possible, for even in the midst of pain there are moments of hope, comfort, peace.

Written by Bret Deneson and Dr. G. David Boyd

How to Help those who have Lost a Child.

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Young adult - head on arms

Early adulthood is a time when one gets married, and has children.  Right?  But what happens when the happy couple’s dreams come to a grinding halt.  In the middle of settling into their adult lives, some emerging adults come face to face with one of the hardest situations that they will ever face – the death of a child. Continue reading →

Finding Healing after Losing a Child

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At one time durring Floklife Brenden began inexplicably crying. He wasnt sad, just the liquid.

Early adulthood is a time when one gets married, and has children.  Right?  But what happens when everything that seemed to be moving ahead comes to a grinding halt.  In the middle of settling into their adult lives, some emerging adults come face to face with one of the hardest situations that they will ever face – the death of a child.  Continue reading →