Do we still believe in rape?

This news story has made me ask the question, “Do we still believe in rape?”

An 18-year-old accused of sexually assaulting two high school classmates is facing two years of probation despite the district attorney’s office’s recommendation of two years in prison.

PHOTO: Pictured is David Becker, 18, of East Longmeadow, Massachusetts.David Becker, of East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, was charged with two counts of rape and one count of indecent assault and battery, according to court documents, after an April 2 incident in which he was accused of digitally penetrating two girls who were sleeping in a bed after a house party. Becker and the alleged victims, who are not being identified, were all seniors.

You can read the rest of the article here!

Image result for brock turnerI hope that our nation still believes in rape.  Several high profile rape cases among young adults have received alarmingly light sentences.  A Stanford University student named Brock Turner received a six month sentence for what his father described as “twenty minutes of action” when he rapped an unconscious woman.

In David Becker’s case, the judge stated that “The goal of this sentence was not to impede this individual from graduating high school and to go onto the next step of his life, which is a college experience.”  The judge’s statement makes the assumption that all emerging adults go to college, and that college is an inherent right to young adults.

But the judge also believes that this sex offender has the right to a “normal” life.

I do believe in forgiveness and restoration.  However, I also believe in the importance of personal autonomy – which is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.

Whatever lies ahead in this young man’s future (and I do hope it includes forgiveness and restoration), I do not imagine that this young man’s future will remain unaffected by his crime.  In spite of his light sentence, the social and psychological affects to his crimes will follow him for many years.

As I reflect on the judge’s assumptions and perspective, I see another viewpoint.

I am wondering about the victims.  Do his victims have the right to a “normal” life?  How will these events affect their college experience?

I am wondering about the growing number of victims from sexual crimes that fill our schools, homes, and churches.  I wonder if their stories are slowly being altered.  I wonder if their cries are being muffled.  I wonder if their wounds are bleeding anew.

I hope that our society can still see the benefit of morality.  In a world where sexual bondage is presented as appropriate (50 Shades of Gray) and where we promote and glorify the connection between sex and power, I hope we can find the God-ordained purpose of sex.

I hope that in this darkness, we can remove sex from the obsession it has become in our society and realize that sex will never fulfill us.

I hope that we still believe in rape.

 

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the manager of EA Resources, and the Founder of the EA Network, a network for those who minister to emerging adults.

 

 

 

 

35 Things We’d Better Tell Our Sons About Harassment, Assault & “Boys will be Boys”

Just read a powerful article by Ann Voskamp, a NY Time best-selling author of A Thousand Gifts.  This article is important because it discusses what to teach our adolescents and emerging adults about sexual abuse and violence.

boyswillbeboysHere is the Article!

It is longer than many articles, so make sure that you have the time to read and digest it.  Each time that I have read it, I finished inspired and encouraged in my role as a man and father of three sons.

Wow, here are a few of my favorite quotes.

1.  And better stories begin around our dinner tables and our kitchen sinks.

Stories around our dinner tables and kitchen requires spending time together as a family.  This requires saying no to the endless activities of our world, and saying yes to better things.

2.  It is the scarred ones who make the Body of Christ sensitive.  

I know because I am a scarred one.  I was actually scarred by  the church (and I am not alone).  I am not thankful to those who gave them to me, but I am grateful to the God who sustains me daily.  These scars don’t define me, but they have shaped me in ways I once never imagine.

2014-09-28 13.35.063.  You don’t value a woman by telling yourself that she’s some man’s sister, or daughter, or mother. A woman doesn’t derive value from having men in her life that value and like her. A woman has value because she is made in the image and likeness of God. Period.

I have heard this false argument so many times.  Women do not receive their value due to their relationships with men.  They have value because of their relationship to God as Creator.  I don’t want my sons to treat women respectfully because they fear a dad sitting in the living room cleaning a gun.  I want my sons to fear God to whom they will give an account one day.

4.  That’s what you have to get, Sons — Real Manhood knows the heart of God for the daughters of His heart.

I want my sons to know that Real Manhood understands God’s love for men and women.

5.  Son, let everything you read of women be shaped by how Jesus sealed His view and value of women.

There is a beautiful piece of poetry in the center about Jesus’ view of women.  It is amazing.

May God make me a real man who will stand up for the value of women in the church.

May God make me a real father who will teach my sons to value women.

May God do the same to you.

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to minister to the needs of Emerging Adults and their parents.