When the Church is Fighting over Coffee Pots

© 2010 Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

I am still shocked and amazed that it happened.  I had heard stories about church conflict centered on the color of carpet or the VBS theme, but it would never happen in my church.

Never say never.

In the midst of a church business meeting, a discussion began that resulted in a fight over the use of coffee pots.  Harsh words were uttered.  People were angry.

In a room where the average age was well over forty

In a room that was holding the leadership of our church.

In a room where gray hair ran rampant, and where wisdom and maturity were supposed to be found in abundance.

In this room selfishness reigned and child-like behavior was obvious.

Sometimes immature behavior gets ascribed to… well, to those who are younger (or to people we don’t like or agree with).  Yet at that moment, it was difficult to imagine any other age group having this same conversation.

Psalm 119: 99,100 says,

I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts.

Spiritual maturity is not dependent upon age, but upon the individual’s meditation and obedience to God’s word.  We all make assumptions about others based upon their age – which is defined as Ageism.  Ageism is prejudice or discrimination based upon age, and I believe it to be one of the causes of the Millennial Exodus (or why young adults are leaving the church).

When judged by his age, Paul commands Timothy to stand strong against ageism, “Don’t let anyone look down upon you because you are young.”  (1 Timothy 4:12)  Timothy was called to lead, and Paul knew that his character and calling (rather than age) were the foundation of his leadership.

Why then are young adults often excluded from leadership because of age?  (read more)

For several years in a community where I served, I regularly questioned why our leadership had to be over fifty.  After nominating many young(er) adults, they were always mysteriously removed for the same reason – they were in the wrong ‘phase of life’ (aka – anyone with children in the home). It was thinly veiled ageism –  excluded people due to their age.

When the coffee pots become the center of your church meetings, it reveals that something is wrong.

Your church may be equating age with maturity.

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is passionate about equipping parents and churches to reach Millennials.  If there is some way that he can serve your community, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.