Why your mentor is not good enough.

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You may have a good mentor.

You may have a great mentor.

You may have the world’s best mentor.

However, I have bad news for you.  Your mentor is not good enough.

I believe in mentoring relationships.  Well, I actually believe in symbiotic relationships which better expresses the mutual benefits of the relationship.  I also prefer the word discipleship (2 Timothy 2:2), but since neither of those words are trending, I will stick with the word mentor (imagine your favorite sad emoji – here).

Here are four reasons why your mentor is not good enough.

The instability of life.



The geographical instability of Emerging Adults causes instability in many other areas of life including: income, living situations, and relationships.  Distance affects our relationships, and it doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder.  While relationships can continue long distance, you can’t get a hug online.  Make sure you have multiple healthy relationships in case your life (or their life) makes a sudden left turn.

Your mentor is not fully equipped to meet all your needs.

I am high maintenance.  Ask my mentors.  Ask my wife.  Ask my friends.

The good news for them is that I am worth it.

And so are you.

One individual cannot possibly meet all your needs. Even the best mentors are limited in their own skills, knowledge, and bandwidth. There are people who perform some elements of what mentors do, while failing altogether in other elements.  (Parks 2000)  We all have various needs which may include:  social, vocational, relational, financial, and academic. Take time to reflect and understand the depths of your needs and identify several individuals who can support you.

Your mentor doesn’t have the time to meet your needs.

We all live under time constraints, and have a limited network of relationships.  While our mentor may want to spend time with you, other issues may rightly take precedence in their life.  No single relationship can satisfy the casting needs for the drama of our becoming. (Parks 2000)  We are all needy – at times in life. We need regular support, and putting that pressure on one individual to meet your needs moves a mentor towards burnout. If you always see Jane on the weekends, but she works during the week, maybe you can locate someone who has a similar schedule as you to connect with during the week.

Your mentor cannot give you a proper concept of community.

Mentoring should not simply be done exclusively in coffee shops, but should extend into everyday, dynamic contexts.  While a mentor can help you process the issues in life, you also need mentors with whom you can experience life together.  According to Parks, places that typically represent the power of mentoring communities in young adult lives are higher education, professional education, workplaces, travel, the natural environment, families, and religion.  (Parks 2000)  In a community setting, mentors can see the individual’s behavior, and observe how others respond.

Your mentor is not enough.  This is the purpose of mentoring community and the beauty of the body of Christ.  A church which seeks to build intergenerational relationships is naturally designed to fulfill this purpose (Read More).

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, and the Founder of the EA Network – a Facebook community focused on those who minister to emerging adults.


The Forgotten Half: Reaching those who don’t attend college.


Here is an article that I wrote that was recently featured on the Youth Specialties Blog.  If you have a passion to change the future of the church, join me in conversations about emerging adults at the National Youth Workers Conference.

In the United States, the societal expectation to attend college can be intense.  Any graduating senior can attest to the pressure.  In the fall of 2015, approximately 20.2 million students attended American colleges and universities.  (SOURCE)


The Forgotten Half of emerging adults refers to emerging adults who do not go to college.  Jeffrey Arnett used this expression during an address at the 2015 Conference of the SOCIETY FOR THE STUDY OF EMERGING ADULTHOOD).  Although college remains a popular choice, many emerging adults do not attend, and are often forgotten in research conducted on college campuses.

Read the rest of the article – HERE!

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip parents and churches to meet the needs of emerging adults.  If he can help your community, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

Your vision is blurry, and you may need glasses

We recently received a note from the school nurse explaining that our son’s vision was getting blurry, and we needed to take him to get some glasses. His blurry vision didn’t happen overnight, and he did not even notice until the nurse revealed the problem. Fortunately, the nurse told us the truth, and the doctor was able to solve the problem.   Continue reading

The Credit Card Debt of Emerging Adults

Credit Card from Flickr via Wylio

© 2015 GotCredit, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

When I was going through college, there would be a salesperson outside our cafeteria everyday trying to get us to register for a credit card.  In return for signing our name, we would receive a free t-shirt, a 2-liter of soda (usually Mountain Dew), or a $10 gift card for pizza.  Preying upon the innocent, their tactics were shady, and their persistence was relentless.

The Credit Card Act of 2009 eliminated excessive marketing of credit cards to young people. It prohibits companies from wooing students with T-shirts, free pizza and other free gifts at university-sponsored events.  This legislative act also requires those under the age of 21 to prove they have an independent income before applying for a credit card.

In spite of these safety provisions, emerging adults are racking up more debt than ever before.  Here are a few statistics:

  • The average credit card debt of college student is $3,173.
  • The average credit card debt of graduating students is $4,100.

Please Note:  These numbers only reflect their amount of credit card debt.  We haven’t even mentioned the average amount of educational debt which is more than 35k.  (Source)  Overwhelmed by this burden, many college students do not even know their current student loan balance.   (Source)

As someone who cares about emerging adults, it is time to begin discussing…

  • how to improve money-management skills of emerging adults.
  • how churches are consumers and contribute to this culture.
  • how living independently by means of debt is not independence, but the entryway to bondage.
  • how to battle consumerism in our lives.
  • how we can effectively teach Jesus’ teaching about money.

In our discussions, we must acknowledge that debt is not a problem of emerging adults, but is an epidemic that affects Christians of all ages.

Maybe the whole problem is that emerging adults have learned from watching us, and our inability to respond to consumerism.

Leave a comment below to express your thoughts or leave a link to a resources on finances.

Financial Resources:

profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to emerging adults.