Category Archives: For Emerging Adults

Living at Home as a Adult / Living at Home as a Child – Which are you?

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According to research, “40% of 18 to 34 year olds are living at home with one parent or both.  Looking at the younger, 18-to 24 year-old group, more than half have moved back home, at least for a time, in the past few years- or never moved out.  Ther percentage is about the same for men and women.  (Arnett, Getting them to 30, 109)front door

In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

While living at home still carries a negative stigma in many social circles, living at home is not always a negative experience – for the child or the parent.  “Almost 70% of young people 18-34 who are living at home with their parents say they are very satisfied with family life.”  (Arnett, 110)

In this video, the speaker makes several points to illustrate the difference between someone who lives with parents as an adult versus someone who lives at home with an immature perspective.

Here is a link to the full video.

Living at Home

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGV_YBM0KXQ

The video states that those who live at home as a Child…

  • treat the home as a hotel.
  • are frivolous spenders.
  • always have something to prove.

Those who live at home as an Adult…

  • always contribute.
  • are not afraid to serve parents and siblings.
  • respect their parents wishes and home.

While the fact that you are living with your parents does not make you a child, how you act while living at home does indicate your maturity.

One of the first points made in the video is that there are several healthy reasons why children choose to live with their parents (including finances and physical health).  While the predominant western mindset values living independently, many cultures have always valued communal living for extended families.

So are you living at home like an Adult or a Child?

Other Links:

Boomerang Kids – What does this trend mean for the church?

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I came across an article this week that focuses on the increase of women who are living at home.  While the article focuses on the increase of women, the numbers of women and men living with their parents continues to increase.

Here is the full article.

We need to explore what this trend means for the church.

What does this trend mean for parents, educators, and those who minister to emerging adults?

1.  In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

2. New boundaries must be established within the home when a child moves home to further rather than delay the child’s development.  (Setting Boundaries While Living at Home)

3.  We must avoid criticizing or shaming those who live at home.   We must avoid criticizing or shaming parents who allow their children to live at home.

4.  We must be prepared to counsel emerging adults as they decide where to live, and how it will affect their lives (spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially).

This is only scratching the surface of this issue.  Please leave your thoughts below to further the discussion.

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profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip those who minister to emerging adults.

Conversation, Empathy, and Emerging Adults – by Jana Sundene

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Sapienta is an on-line resources that is sponsored by Trinity International University that focuses on research on emerging adulthood.  Jana Sundene, co-author of Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults, wrote this great article concerning the affect of digital communication upon the empathy skills of emerging adults.  In this article, Jana conveys displays two things I love: a passion for emerging adults, and a positive perspective towards their impact upon the future of the church.  Here is the article…

Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry TurtleIt seems like every time I turn around I am hearing something about Sherry Turkle’s new book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.Whether it is an interview, a podcast, an article or a review, this book appears to have hit a nerve with the general public.

Indeed, concern about how electronic devices and social media are affecting our relationships has been growing. I know it’s not just the older generations because very time I bring up this as a topic of discussion with the emerging adults in my college courses, the classroom lights up with comments and opinions.

Click here for the full article.

Here are some highlight quotes:

  • From David Setran – “While cell phones preserve connections with individuals in a variety of locations, they may also compromise the ability to be fully present in any one place. Many emerging adults prefer virtual dispersion to embodied and situated connections with God, people, and texts.”
  • Empathy, the ability to put ourselves in the place of the other, requires presence and is an important pre-requisite of compassion.
  • Their empathy, their strongest sense of compassion, seems to be toward groups of people who are “situated elsewhere.” This is a definitely a strength and a huge gift to offer to the church.

So next time you find yourself in a situation with an emerging adult, give them the gift of presence.  After bestowing this precious gift,  don’t expect or demand that it to be fully repaid.  Like other acts of giving, it should spring from an over-flowing heart, and lead by the tug of the Spirit.  

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.

What Kind of Leaders are Millennials?

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closeup of a young man with the word yolo, for you only live once, tattooed in his hand, with a filter effect

The title of this article immediately irritates me – any piece of writing or study that claims to state how an entire generation leads is going to be filled with assumptions, stereotypes, and generic statements that don’t mean much.  (I am also not sure how their picture connects with the article?)

However, here are a few points that all church leaders should ponder:

You can check out the complete article here.

  • “Millennials want to be leaders. Ninety-one percent of millennials aspire to be leaders, according to The Millennial Leadership Study.”  Could this be why some are leaving the church?
  • “Interestingly, of the 91 percent seeking leadership responsibilities, more than half are women. More women in leadership roles could impact or even break up the “good ol’ boys” network and pay inequality, criticized by so many today.”
  • “Millennials realize they lack experience and skills, and the study reports that 53 percent are eager to learn from mentors.”  What does this look like with Millennials?
  • “Millennials may be misunderstood. But as the largest generation in the workforce, they have a significant influence. It’s only a matter of time before they begin redefining leadership and other workplace trends.”

Millennials who lead come in all shapes and sizes.  While their styles will be shaped by the values of their generation (like authenticity), defining their leadership style (like any other generation) is impossible.

 

 

 

How to Plan a Gap Year – Resources

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Bluff sign from Flickr via Wylio

© 2006 Will Ellis, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

The American Gap Association is a great resource for those taking a Gap Year.

They have compiled a great FREE guide on how to plan a gap year.

You can download their guide Here!

For a Christian perspective on Gap Years, please check out “God in the Gap Year” by Derek Melby.  You can download this resources here.

The Power of Generational Mediators

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A “mediator” serves as a conduit, or channel, between two parties in conflict, seeking to ensure that both feel understood, respected, and able to contribute towards an agreeable solution.

As a pastor, I have served as a mediator numerous times – negotiating house rules, establishing consensus over new policies in the church, or seeking healing in a relationship.

© 2010 Eric Danley, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Within the church, disagreements can erupt between different generations due to disparate values, beliefs, and practices. I have stood up in defense of Millennials amidst a boardroom of angry Baby boomers, and I have defused frustration among disillusioned Millennials in hallway conversations.

As churches seek to become more intergenerational in their programming, conflict will inevitably arise. Does your community have people who are equipped to serve as intermediaries between the generations? Mediators of generational conflict can restore peace and unity in three ways.

1.    Mediators understand.

Effective mediators are “swift to hear, slow to speak.” (James 1:19) They ask great questions and are motivated to understand another’s perspective. They want to know the “what,” but will keep digging until they also discover the “whys.” Before bringing together conflicting parties, mediators will seek to understand each group’s desires, values, and practices.

2.     Mediators translate.

During times of conflict, fear and anger can limit or completely block reasonable communication. Mediators are able to remove these obstacles and promote effective communication. By knowing those involved, they will choose words and expressions designed to calm emotions and facilitated mutual understanding between the parties. Fruitful mediation takes time, and all sides must remain patient through the process, believing the results will be worth the effort.

3.    Mediators build bridges.

In the midst of discord, we tend to focus on our differences and perceive our opposition as villains. Dehumanizing others relieves our own sense of guilt, allowing us to justify hurtful words, thoughts, and actions. Mediators remind each side of their common ground, and build bridges towards mutual respect, understanding, and love. As human beings, we can always find some common ground in personal fears, dreams, and emotions. Within the church, mediators lead us to our common ground in Jesus and His call upon our lives.

If your community seeks to become intergenerational, who has God provided as potential mediators?  Seek out and train individuals who are able to value varied perspectives, who can communicate with patience, and who know how to build bridges upon common faith and love.  Well-trained mediators are essential to maintaining a healthy, united community.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  This article first appeared on ChurchCentral.com, where David is a regular contributor.

Gap Year Statistics

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This article is a list of statistics that are taken from various studies about the benefits of a gap year.  The article also gives this image which explains the reasons why students choose to participate in a gap year.

Here are some of the stats that caught my attention.

  • 90 percent of students who took a Gap Year returned to college within a year.
  • In 2014 AGA Members and Provisional Members gave away a combined total of roughly $2,800,000 in scholarships and needs-based grants.
  • 88 percent of Gap Year graduates report that their Gap Year had significantly added to their employability.

Please note:  There is currently a huge need for research and statistics among Gap Year Participants.  Many of the studies listed were not conducted on American students, and did not have a large subject base.

While Gap Years are not for everyone, they definitely have benefits.  If you are considering a gap year, here is an article to get you started.

 

Should You Take A Gap Year?

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Taking a “Gap Year” after high school is becoming more common in the Western world.  While exact details are difficult to determine, but it is clear that interest and enrollment in gap year programs is growing substantially.  If you want to read some statistics on Gap Year, Please check out this site.

Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting information and articles on this topic.  I am also compiling a list of resources for those considering a gap year.

I came across this article on Forbes that I wanted to share with you.